How to pop the question

14 August 2014

"Be thoughtful. Think about what matters to the two of you as a couple."

So this gem has been doing the rounds of the internet and has been makings scores of sympathetics cringe over and over again. You’ve gotta feel for the guy—it’s pretty brave to get down on bended knee in the first place, let alone suffer the humiliation of a marriage refusal in such a public place as shopping centre food court. Though, you have to wonder what was going through his mind when he decided to propose IN A FOOD COURT. Perhaps it was the aroma of the Singapore fried noodles wafting out of the bain marie that overcame him and his sense of reason. We’ll never know.

So have you been contemplating doing the same for your lovely lady (or gent; equal rights—yeah!) but feel a bit stumped about how to execute it and get her to say yes? Well, here are a few little pointers to get you started:

  1. The best way to avoid embarrassment is to opt for something a little more intimate where the pressure’s off both parties. Women want to be surprised, but not too much. NB. Billboards, public sporting events, crop circles in your beloved’s name are probably not the most subtle ways of proposing.
  2. Check with the parents first. It’s an old-fashioned tradition, but one that you should adhere to for the sake of your married life. Parents appreciate being kept in the loop and if you want bones, thugs and harmony with the in-laws, pull them aside for the little chat they’ve been hoping for since their daughter first brought you home.
  3. Avoid cultural events—Valentine’s Day, Christmas or birthdays—for risk of appearing unimaginative or naff. If you wish to ask around these times, ask a couple of days later or earlier so as not to eclipse the significance of the day.
  4. Get down on a knee. Another oldie but a goodie that might seem obvious, but again, if you weren’t to get down on your knee, would you really want to hear about it for the rest of your married life?
  5. Be thoughtful. Think about what matters to the two of you as a couple. Pulling a ring out between rounds of laser tag probably isn’t the right time, unless you’re both into that kind of thing. No judgement from us.
  6. Propose when it feels right. Be that man who takes risks and if the moment seizes you, substitute a Burger Ring for the diamond variety until you can replace it. Spontaneity is a wonderful thing and will win you Brownie points with the extended girlfriend circle.